The Birth Story

I was asked to give some info about Trevor's birth.  Here is our story:

My husband and I had only been married for three months when we found out we were expecting and we were so excited!

I had trevor the day after I graduated from college.  I had a pretty easy pregnancy although very busy in my last semester and also working part time as a nanny.

The day Trevor was born I went to the hospital in a lot of pain. I knew it was time, but I felt that something was wrong. The unit was totally swamped and there was no room for us. The nurses brought us into a basic exam room and hooked me up to some machines and asked me to wait. We were there for a long time while the machine's alarms that were going off.  We were terrified because we knew something was wrong but there was no one to help us. One time a nurse came in a told me that the baby wasnt getting enough oxygen and that I needed to try to breath deeper. They hooked me up to some oxygen and then left. The alarms continued to ring out! We were there a long time. Levi, my husband, even got up and went searching for someone to help us but everyone was tucked away in rooms helping other patients. The alarms screaming; levi and I just held each other and prayed for some help or some comfort. I cried a lot because I knew the baby was in trouble.

Finally, at some point, a nurse came in to check on me and found that I wasnt progressing very much and decided to break my water. My water was green--merconium. Which means that the baby was under so much stress that he pooped inside my body and had likely breathed in the contaminated fluid.

Within 30 minutes Trevor was removed by c-sec and was rushed out of the room. Neither of us was allowed to see him. They wheeled me to a recovery room and left me there alone while they tried to save my baby. I was there for a long time crying by myself, while my husband had been lead back to our room where my mom was waiting.

As it turned out Trevor had been breathing the merconium. He was in the NICU in an incubator and recieving help breathing and getting lots of meds. We found out that he had been stuck inside me and that he had been put in danger because of the way my body is shaped-- I now know that I am not able to have children vaginally, and that, had we continued to labor, we would have lost him. In addition his embellical cord was in a knot and restricting his oxygen. It was fortunate he survived.

The next day I was wheeled in to look at him but it was a few days before I could hold him.

While we were in the operating room and I was really doped up my husband claims that I kept asking if the baby has downs syndrome. I remember that we didnt have the money to pay for the testing to check for that prenatally. I dont know why that was on my mind so much. Funny. I guess I just knew something was wrong.

Months later we found out he had autism.  I knew from an early age because I had studied it in college but he was 18 months before recieving a proper diagnosis and I finally felt justified and he started getting the help he needed.

We have been down a very tough road. Trevor has a very difficult life. Sometimes I feel like a prisoner. He doesn't like to be away from the house or around people. He often freaks out when we are in public places. Its been hard even to go to church, which I need to survive. I sometimes wish it had been downs syndrome becuase then people would be able to recognize that he was disabled. I get plenty of parenting advice and dirty looks when we are out and about. People dont understand.  He cant even talk. Sometimes I pretend to disapline him for other peoples sake.

He is also not very loving and doesn't like to be touched, and I tend to be a very affectionate. I remember learning about autism and thinking that that would be the absolute worst thing that could happent to me as a parent. I need his love, yet he cant express it the way I need. Children wtih Downs are usually very affectionate and loving.

Since Trevor was diagnosed I have gained 30 lbs. I am just starting to pull myself together. Utah doesnt require insurance companies to cover treatment for autism (yet) so it has been difficult to get him the help he needs. He is currently on scholarship at a very good school for kids with autism and is doing better all the time.

I do tons of research on autism and am always trying out new diets and therapys and ways to calm and comfort him. We have to do almost everything for him and its getting harder and harder the bigger he gets.  But we love him! And so its no problem!

I have many many stories of the strange things I have had to do to keep him safe or calm him down. Things I never thought I would do. That is why I started this blog. I know getting it all down will help me not to be angry and to laugh at all of our silly adventures.